Sunday, August 12, 2007

"Rush Hour 3" -- * 1/2

“It was aight, it wasn’t all ‘at.”

Thus were the words spoken by an incredibly stereotype-embodying African-American young gentleman exiting Thursday night’s screening of “Rush Hour 3,” and the fact that even this target demo deemed it only “aight” should signal to you the piss-poor returns director Brett Ratner has delivered.

Asians talk funny!

Blacks are sassy!

I don’t really have much to say about “Rush Hour 3” other than that it is the lamest, laziest, flavorless, pandering, condescending sequel/threequel of 2007. But to be fair, it’s really just as bad as the first two films in the series, not significantly worse. It never provoked out-and-out hate—I was rarely offended, occasionally bored, but mostly just mildly irritated.

If you liked “Rush Hours” 1 and 2, I see no reason why you would (a) be disappointed with number 3, or (b) care enough about my opinions to read this blog. This is the same generic, hackneyed, trite bullshit Ratner forcefed us in the first two films, and they’re all such retreads of each other, I’m not even able to distinguish which events took place in which of the films anymore.

Seriously, watch the trailers for all three movies and see if you can tell the difference. Jackie Chan says something, Chris Tucker responds “Damn, I don’t understand a word you just said.” Audience howls with laughter. Women are degraded and scantily clad, Chris Tucker shouts “Damn! You fine!” Audience rolls on the floor reveling in the stereotypes. Tucker and Chan have some big action set-piece at a national monument of whatever country they’re in, slide down it, shoot the bad guy. Audience woots and hollers in glee. Despite lack of coherence or relation to whatever took place, film ends with Tucker and Chan singing “War (What Is It Good For?).” Audience applauds, and walks away satisfied. Black guy exiting theater sings “War” imitating Jackie Chan in a mock Asian accent.

There, I saved you 85 minutes of your life.


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